So I get pretty freaked out when people come onto me at the supermarket…

I was just looking for some Bagel Bites bro…

I got kinda lost though because I wasn’t familiar with this store.

So I start noticing this dude is just like hanging out waiting for me to come over his way. Like he KNEW I was looking for the pizza… I swear. 

I get over to where he’s standing and he starts talking to me. And this guy is pretty fucking hot too, not even gonna lie. He goes, “You look nice today.” I’m like, “Thanks, so do you!” So I got my damn Bagel Bites and scurried away.

I get in line to check out and the dude gets in line behind me… I’m like oh shit.

So he asks me where I’m from and I tell him I’m from here, he’s like “Me too.” I asked him if he’d ever been to this town that’s like an hour away and he said he had totally been there. 

At this point I realize that I am NEVER gonna see this guy again and this is going nowhere… so I devise a plan.

I didn’t want him to feel like he missed out on ‘the one’ or anything…

So I start telling him this super weird and creepy story about this house I grew up in that was in the town we talked about. Bwahahahahaha, I could tell by the end he was like super freaked out. Ahahahaha. I felt accomplished and it wasn’t too awkward when I walked off, he just kinda said “See ya.”

At least he can think “Wow, she was a TOTAL psycho!” instead of “Damn, I wish I could have gotten her number!”

I am so brilliant. 

On the real though, I feel bad for dudes today… having to deal with women who have such severe mental problems!!! It’s really not fair. They deserve better!!!

And how whacked out is it that every time something even mildly interesting happens to me in public, all I can think is “I CAN’T WAIT to tell the internet about this!!!”

Ahahaha… aw man. Sorry, fellas. I just want the best for you, and some of us are too crazy to bother with!!!

from SECTUAL – Discussion Forum